Fat Kid Treatz

Sometimes you wake up and want to eat fat kid treats for breakfast.  What is a “fat kid treat” you say?  Well, it’s pretty much anything that you can eat that makes you happy according to Katie and Brandon French.   For me, this is a dark stairway to chocolate infused baked goods.  My relationship with baked snacks goes all the way back to an upbringing where cookies and candy were largely forbidden by my slightly hippie, mostly healthy mother.  Years of suppression of this refined taste-bud and cortex pleasure-center has led to decades of making up for lost time and I don’t see an end any time soon.

Over a year ago I decided to do some experimentation with my diet as a result of not feeling as energetic and youthful as I once remember feeling.  Much to my coworkers dismay, I wound up (mostly) eliminating meat, dairy, and eggs from my diet.  Yep, vegan, or as my co-worker Joe says, “Vaygen” (sounds like a redneck trying to pronounce it).  Now before you pass judgement, I’m not one of those bible-thumping/crunchier-than-thou hippies saying you meat eaters are destroying our world.  I allow myself plenty of fudge-room with the occasion Ceres treat, home-made cookie, or fish taco.  I’m definitely not the type of person who prefers the straight line in life, though I commend those that do.  I will say that I have not regretted the decision (nor has my wife), and I feel a lot better on a day to day basis.  I don’t really bother with supplements, I don’t freak out about not getting enough protein, and I don’t really worry about calorie restriction.  As a result of batting around 95% vegan for a year, my energy levels are back to where I remember them being, I have lost a couple pounds of body fat (not muscle), and probably spared a few hundred baby chickens from some inhumane slaughtering as well as hormone pumped cows from leaching out gallons of milk for my yogurt fetish.  All in all I’m surprised it’s been something I’ve stuck with, but after taking a few months to figure it out and noticing fairly significant improvements in my energy level, I think it’s become a “lifestyle”.  Not to mention my blood results and cholesterol have shocked doctors with how ideal the values are (ie. no chance of a heart attack/stroke because I have essentialy no clottability in my blood from cholesterol, not iron deficient, not b-12 deficient, and all the other things that supposedly vegans suffer from).  I eat a shit-load of bananas, I eat a lot of peanut butter (it’s strange that I actually love that stuff more now than I did when I was 12), and just lots of carbs in general.  It’s no where near as difficult to eat vegan than it is to be paleo, gluten-free, etc.  It’s certainly not very popular, and it’s a pain in the butt when your friends ask you over and then realize they have to figure out some sort of hippie dinner, but it works.  And like I said, I keep it flexible, I don’t ram it down others throats, and I prefer it not to be an issue.  Though it does create some great conversation, especially amongst carnivorous firefighters.

What I wanted to share was the recipe for the delicious looking scone you see at the top of the page, somehow I ended up down the vegan rabbit-trail…

Banana-Coconut-Chocolate Chip Scones-

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (I use Bob’s Red Mill)
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/4 cup turbinado sugar
1/2 tsp salt
4 Tbsp Earth Balance margarine (ideally not cold)
1 cup vegan chocolate chunks (believe it or not costco’s big bag has no dairy in it)
1 mashed banana, 1 cup dried coconut flakes

1 cup almond milk (i used vanilla almond/coconut blend), and I added another tsp of vanilla extract
2 Tbsp – 4 Tbsp turbinado for the top of the scones

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 400 F.
2. Mix your flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a large bowl.  Mix together with your hand, it will be dry and a little clumpy.  Then add the mashed banana to the top of the mix. Throw the coconut flakes on top of that.
3. Stir in your almond milk until the dough starts holding together.  Then add the chocolate chips
4. Mix the batter together as minimally as possible so it’s kind of clumpy and not too wet.
5. Grab large forkfulls of the batter and drop it onto a prepped cookie sheet.  I made 5 large scones with this mix.  You can try the roll it out/cut into triangles if you want.  I kind of like big textured scones though.
6.Lightly press your sugar into the tops of your scones and transfer to a baking sheet.
9. Bake for 15-20 minutes.

Enjoy, I found mine to be quite delicious!!!